Sunday, May 25, 2014

And...we're back!

Well hello from Glacier country!  In the midst of crazy May, there wasn't time to write, plus all sorts of things have been changing too quickly to synthesize. I did take on Mamalode's Instagram series #dayinthelifeofmamalode, a nice way to capture & share some emotions and happenings during this transitional time of leaving a full-time-job & becoming full-time-mama.  Not that all mamas aren't full-time, but you know what I mean!

Back here at Many, I'm hoping to set aside a little bit of each day for some creating and exploring, working on the Hoot documentary and music.  Also trying to rest and enjoy the new growth around me.  Noticing bright snowpack as it diminishes, tiny buds on branches.  

It's been nice to shake out a little cabin fever as Josephine plays in nature.  All the moving: toys and tools, clothes and kids, it was emotional, it was hard, it was good.  Nice to remember that all you need is some rocks and dirt after pining for material items & memories.

So much stuff!  Many of our commitments are now wrapped up- some more abruptly than others.  Many folks were left without a goodbye, and I feel strange being so disconnected from school when it's not out for summer yet.  James & I tag-teamed it to move our family of four, which was much more difficult than anticipated (isn't it always?!) Now we are decompressing a bit, letting things go.

The rhythm of purging and organizing has felt really good- with moving and now at the boat house before the whole crew is here.  It's nice to take a bit of time and figure out where and how to make things look and function better than last year.  

Eliza (aka tree frog) has been through a lot in her first month of life, I want to mellow things out for her.  She's had a harder time with nursing, as she came into a busy world that wasn't stopping: accompanying me to school early on, lots of running around for a newborn.  She took a bottle early, thanks to the breast pump (provided via Obamas healthcare for all).  

Mommy-guilt is so hard.  Today, as she was screaming during her usual witching hour, I reminded myself, "you're doing the best you can."  Hard not to be too hard on myself.  Remembering that this wee babe just left my womb, and we are missing parts of each other, needing each other now in new, different ways.  Oh, and thank God for babywearing!

Returning to Many has been fun with Big sister. It feels like her first time as she is just putting it all together.  Girl is so darn passionate, exuberant, curious, impressionable.  Her reactions to all these "new" experiences, interacting with boat co family in a while new way.  Endearing and entertaining!  Often, fear comes first, but excitement follows.  See Miss Bumble Tuna below.  Shortly after this, she whispered "I don WAN na go to Many GLacier."  I reminded her Ty & Margaret were here, and we were able to get stoked on the gorgeous Spring drive into the Valley, including making Duck sounds "one more time" a million times.

On our first Lake Josephine visit, she said she saw a whale!  I know how grandiose this place seemed to me when I first came here 10 years ago, but nothing beats a child's imagination!

I am excited to be on YouPlus2 Parenting later this week sharing my take on play with Josephine- how much electronics and the internet can affect our toddlers.  Look for it!  It's already been great to unplug here in Glacier and just follow the needs of my babies.  Simplify life a bit.  

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Introducing.... E.M.H.

Drumroll.... it's a GIRL!

I really went back and forth on what I thought this baby's gender would be.  Because of some differences in the pregnancies (namely: morning sickness & skin dermatitis), I thought boy.  But I've always wanted a sister, and now, Josephine can have a sister!

So, Miss Eliza.  She's an ancient soul.
She looks like a little old man, and I feel I've known her forever.  

Elizabeth May Hackethorn
May 2, 2014 8:34 am
8lbs, 2oz
Born in the water at home

My Great-Grandma on my Dad's side is Grandma May (*middle name Elizabeth!), and James' family tree has this hopeful month namesake as well.  Plus, I was influenced by reading Ina May Gaskin and preparing for her birth.  So, fitting.  If she's been born in April, maybe her middle name would be Moon.

Elizabeth is also a family name on Dad's side: James' middle name Cannon comes from his Great-Grandfather Clarence Cannon, I believe one of his daughters was named Elizabeth.  My therapist, Elizabeth Allen, was a huge influence in my life, and I honor her with this name as well.

When we were in Glacier this summer, we hiked with really good friends through the Ptarmigan Tunnel, and through Red Gap Pass via Goal Trail.  We marvelled at Chief Mountain, and even submitted Yellow Mountain, before descending to Poia Lake and out through the dark.  The day before, I had found out about our Little Moonbeam.

Elizabeth Lake from the north side of Ptarmigan Tunnel 8/22/14
photo by Anders Olson

We had a beautiful  look down at Elizabeth Lake.  I enjoyed being quiet about our news throughout the day, but I kept looking back and meditating on the lake.  To me, having named Josephine after the lake meant that our other children should have something special about their names, hopefully in the park.  Now, Eliza won't get to hike regularly on her lake like Josey can, but we'll look forward to special adventures there with the girls someday.

I am excited to write Eliza's birth story.  After taking the time to write Josephine's Birth & Nursing Story this March, I am excited to share the very different and equally amazing experience of Eliza's birth, especially while I remember it so well.


Speaking of Nursing, little Miss E has a tongue-tie as well.  We have an appointment Thurs.  In the meantime, we are dealing with the arrival of milk & nursing pain, but feeling glad to have known this experience before.  Until then, I'm trying to rest & make this transition easy for bis sis, Josephine.

The hormones and emotions are running high, but thankfully, Eliza loves to sleep.  We could just stare at her for days.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

May Day!

Happy May Day!  

Have you heard this new album: Lighght on NPR's First Listen?  

Try it, it's a bit addicting.   
I think it sounds like the Shins a bit... and I love the intro and outro and the lyrical lines that keep rising through.  What do you think?

Ah, it is just gorgeous here, at HOME.
I thought I could make it through the week at school, but yesterday, I realized that things are just better if I'm not there.  Plus, too many people asked, "what are you doing here?" or "you're still here??"  Ceri's got it under control in the choir room, and I want to relax and have a baby.
What if today's the day?

Today, either way, I'm going on walks and writing (finishing a guest post that I'm really excited about!), and cleaning and stretching and playing music.  Josephine is at Miss Vickie's.  If I go into labor, then beautiful.  If not, then carry on (and on and on).

She was outside all day yesterday, and with these blue skies, I think she'll have a great day today at school today.  I read a transitional idea for little ones, to have someone give them a gift when the baby is born.  I'm going to give her my sweatshirt with Big Bird.  Stitched by Gee Gee.  

When our little apple blossom is nervous, she looks down and talks about her clothes!  "It has pockets!  I got flowers!" her pointer-finger on her chest.  Maybe having Big Bird on her shirt will be a small consolation for our attention being divided from here on out.

We made Granola last night, adapted from Asha Dornfest's recipe on Parent Hacks.  I love cooking with Josey!

Last night, she kissed me in between each one of the cradle rungs, her hair spiraling, her toddler self muscular and sunned with Spring.  It's a beautiful life we're in together.  I can't believe how much I love that girl, and how my heart is going to explode with another little one!

......................................................................................You, are the answer to my question.

PS: Kishi Bashi's Tiny Desk Concert


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